Saturday, February 19, 2011
I just finished the most recent update, and it's a two-parter. Should I upload them both now, or give you guys one and then upload the other tomorrow?
What do you guys think?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The first thing I did after Kate left was call my job. As much as I could taste my dream of being top in the culinary career (pun totally not intended), I knew that the first stages of a child's life were really important. I didn't like the thought of leaving little man with a baby sitter. I knew I could call Kate when I worked and she'd be right there, but with the separation just settled I wanted to give her time to get into her new home and new life as a single woman. Something told me that wouldn't be hard for Kate, but at the same time I didn't feel right asking her to come back when she had just left.
Thankfully, work was very understanding. I was worried that, with my luck, they not only would refuse my time off, but they would fire me too. I was so grateful that they gave me the time I needed to spend with my son, though. Even if that time was unpaid, it was a lot better than no job at all.
I planned to go right back to work once Little Man got a little older, but I wanted to be home with him and teach him all the skills he needed to be a great guy one day.
He was already showing signs of taking after me, especially my virtuoso trait. I love music, but just as a hobby. Cooking is truly my passion. Little Man seems to really enjoy music, though. The way he coos and giggles in his crib is almost melodic. He goes to sleep much easier when I sing to him, too. Though, I'm not sure if that's because I'm singing or because the awkward tension in the house is finally gone and we're both seeing a little peace.
In my time off of work, I found I really LOVED my Little Man. I mean, I did love him before, but I didn't know how much joy could come from being a dad. Just from holding him or feeding him. I even delighted in changing his diapers, as stinky as they were.
Little Murphy Junior needed lots of social interactions to keep him happy. I was worried for a little bit that he might be too needy, but that was my guy brain thinking. I didn't have Kate, or any other woman around, to tell me that of course he's needy. He's a baby.
I just kind of figured it out on myself. I knew I would be doing a lot of that as a single parent- learning by experience and not instinct. I don't think that makes me a worse parent than having two parents at once, I'm just a different kind of parent. I need to learn as I go.
Three cries and a squeal means I'm hungry. Got it!
It was hard, but there wasn't a thing I hated about being a parent- that is, except for that time moves really fast.
I was used to long work days and coming home and sleeping. Being with Murphy Jr., the hours just seemed to fly right by. Days melted together and before I knew it it was time for Little Man to grow up.
I'm not sure if I was excited about it or if I was dreading it. I wanted to see the kind of toddler my son would be, but at the same time a part of me wanted to keep him small forever. I felt like those mother's who get upset when their kids are leaving the nest. What will happen when Murphy Jr. doesn't need me any more?
Of course, that time was far, far off and as much as I wanted to I couldn't keep Little Man little forever.
The morning of Little Man's birthday I woke up early and crept into his nursery. I was definitely going to have to redo that room, and maybe some of the house, after he grew up a little. Give the kid room to grow.
He was sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake him. I kissed him on his forehead and went to get ready for the party.
I know it's kind of silly to throw a party for a baby, because they probably won't remember it anyway, but our lives as a family hadn't been easy for the most part. Now that things were finally going good for us, it was definitely a cause for celebration.
After I cooked breakfast for myself (delicious waffles- but they always come out uneven.), I got Murphy's cake out and set it on the table.
Then I set about decorating. I was going to go all out for this party, even if just one of us would know it happened. I got balloons, I got some tables to set outside for the guests. There was a buffet line with fresh food. It was going to be perfect.
When I got around to calling the guests, I must have invited everyone I knew. I guess I was a little over-excited, but I couldn't help it. It was such a big deal that this went perfectly. Even people I had just met or talked to only a few times got an invitation to Little Man's big day.
It felt good to be inviting them to a real home, too. I remember my humble beginnings: having to shower in the gym, surviving on toast. I didn't have much now, true, but I could give my child so much more than I ever had.
I made sure to invite Kate. We had talked a couple times, but she hadn't come around yet. This would be the first time since she saw her son since we ended it, and I was hoping things wouldn't be awkward. On the phone, she sounded happy to come, almost excited as I was. I wanted to sigh in relief, but I knew I had a tendency to not see things for what they really were. As happy as I was a single man, I rushed into things and had to rush out of them for the sake of my family. I hated myself for it sometimes, but I did still love Kate even if it wasn't as much as I had before. She could cloud my vision and make me think we could work out.
Maybe it wasn't love, maybe it was just attraction because she was so beautiful, because as a person, we didn't mesh together. I had to remember that.
Everyone I called showed up, which meant my little home got really crowded really quickly. Everyone was really eager to see the Birthday Boy. I wanted to hold Jr. and bring him to his cake, but I had to wait for my guests to finish passing him around and congratulating him. Even Kate, who had managed to steer clear of me for the party, took her turn with her son. I watched her eyes get misty and she smiled.
It was unspoken, but I knew that she was sure we had made the right choice.
Eventually Murphy got back to me and I cradled him in my arms. I was ready to make my baby into a toddler.
I approached the cake with him in my arms and took a deep breath. I knew he was too young to understand the concept of Birthday Cakes and wishes, so I decided to make a wish for him. I looked down into his deep eyes and thought hard of the perfect wish to ensure his bright future.
I wish..you all the luck in the world, Murphy.
I blew hard, and the candle went out. Noise-makers went off and sparkles surrounded my vision as I felt Little Man transition.
I expected him to grow some hair as a toddler, but that could always come later. He was perfect, and I loved him.
After Murphy transitioned from baby to toddler, the party fizzled out. Everyone came up to me to tell me congratulations on a wonderfully grown boy and to say they had a good time.
Kate was one of the last to leave, lingering behind the other guests.
“You're doing a good job here, Murphy.” She said as she stood next to me. “Though, the lady bug shirt isn't exactly manly.”
We laughed together.
“But, we should really- I should stop by more. I miss this little guy. I missed out on his baby years. I want to be there for him.” She looked away from me. “I'll call you, okay?”
“Yeah.” I replied. “Please do. Things don't have to be awkward Kate. You're welcome anytime.”
She nodded and then left with the rest of the last guests.
Kate's departure gave my heart a familiar tug, but I ignored it. After all, I had a toddler on my hands now. I had a lot more to deal with then a broken heart.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Despite everything thus far, Kate was a wonderful mother. I know that Murphy Jr. wasn't in her plans for the future, and she still never really looked happy, but there was no denying she loved that baby.
She didn't show it often, though. Especially when I was around, she just sighed sadly and put on one of those pretend smiles that are so obviously fake. But then sometimes, when she was alone with the little guy, she would get this look on her face that was so special it was hard to describe.
Love. That describes it.
She loved us both, I knew, but I think things had reached that point. I think Kate had decided she wanted no more of this, and I was set on having no more of the stress. After all, we had a baby now and growing up in a strained environment wouldn't be good for Jr. It would be better to have one parent who was happy and loving then two who were distant and fake.
I didn't know when to spring it on her. I wanted to end it, but it was hard to find the perfect time. I mean, I couldn't exactly walk up and tell her we were through after we just had the baby. I especially didn't want to do it while Murphy Jr. was up, in case things turned ugly.
It was hard to find a time when that kid wasn't awake, though. He was adorable, but I was not used to waking up at odd hours of the night because he wanted to snuggle.
Kate was good at waking up. I thought she'd complain, being in the military was hard work and lack of sleep certainly wouldn't improve her job performance once she went back, but she never really complained about it, even if I knew she didn't like it.
I worked while Kate was on maternity leave, but I still spent some time with Murphy too. Whenever I was home, the first thing I did was go and see my little tyke.
I loved seeing little Murph's face light up, and every time I held him it felt like the world slowed down a little bit. I knew, despite putting it off, that breaking up with Kate would be the right choice. She was a sweet girl underneath it all, and stayed with me despite our troubles. I needed to make better choices for my son, though. I had rushed into a marriage too soon, and though things felt okay they were still awkward. I had to put my child first.
Even knowing this, I was still putting it off because I hated the thought of doing it. Of course, as they often do, things didn't get much better as time went on. Kate started smiling less around our child, giving him the same sad looks she gave me.
It was hard to do it, though. So hard. It's hard to think about it, losing the woman I fell in love with. I couldn't put it off any longer, though.
Knowing I was making the right choice for my son, I resolved to end it with Kate one day after work. It had to be done.
When I got home, Kate was fixing the sink while Murphy Jr. was cooing softly from his crib. Hearing his soft little noises gave me the strength to do what I knew needed doing.
I took a deep breath and approached Kate.
“Honey.” I reached out to touch her arm but she pulled away. I sighed again. “We need to talk.”
Kate took her hands away from the sink and faced me.
“Yes.” She said. “We do.”
“I don't know how to say this easily.” I began, staring more at the floor then I was my wife. “But things aren't working out.”
I heard Kate start to sniffle, but I didn't look up to see her cry. Her voice, holding back tears, whispered “I know.”
Now she reached out, laying her hand on my shoulder. “Murphy, I am so sorry for doing this to you.”
This shocked me, because she wasn't really doing anything, aside from a lack of enthusiasm. Sure, she had some problems, but she hadn't done anything she wasn't trying to fix. She just wasn't happy, and I wasn't happy.
I looked up at her, my emotions written all over my face.
This is what a broken heart looks like.
“Sorry? What are you talking about?” I asked.
It was Kate's turn to sigh and look at the floor. “We rushed into things too fast. I'm not a mean or evil Sim, Murphy. I didn't set out to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you- but this isn't me. This home, this child- the things I want from life are not this.”
I had expected to do all the talking, but she was saying all the things I was thinking.
I stayed silent and let her continue.
“You want to be a great chef, and I want-...” She trailed off, tears coming hard now. “Murphy, my life's greatest wish is to be a Heart Breaker. Not because I'm mean, but I love the attention I get when I get all dolled up. I love hanging out with my friends and all the compliments I get. You were different. I'm not saying that to spare your feelings. I really wanted this to work, and I really did love you, but in the end some things never change.”
“You can say that again.” I mumbled.
“I am who I am, Murphy, and I want you to have a wonderful life. That doesn't include me, at least not now.”
“What about Murphy Jr.?” I asked, already knowing she wouldn't want custody of him.
“He's my son, Murphy. I never saw him in my future, but I can't imagine my future without him. I know he'd be better off with you. I just hope that you'll still let me visit. Even if I have to be Auntie Kate.”
I nodded and smiled a little. “I think he would like that.”
Kate apologized again and wiped her hands against her eyes. After she was done, she smiled. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I wish I hadn't had to do this to you, but things will be better this way.”
I nodded again. “I hope so.”
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I have the new update written, it's just a matter of getting it posted. (Getting the pictures organized in blogger takes a lot of time.)
My father recently (as in, a few days ago) had a minor heart attack (which we previously thought was a stroke- but it was a heart attack.) so things have been a little hectic around here.
I really love this Legacy and I HATE that the updates have been so sporadic. I'll try to get the next chapter(s) up tomorrow, and then after that I'll make sure my updates are a little more frequent so you guys don't have to wait a week to find out what happens.
Who is in this car? Where are they going, or where did they drive off from?
Also, if you guys like Machinima, look me up on youtube as SimPenskii. I've made two Machinima so far.
Alright, see you guys tomorrow with the latest installment of Murphy's Law!
Friday, January 21, 2011
It was calm in our home after the incident, but it didn't last long. In fact, it was almost like the calm before the storm, you could say.
After a particularly long day at work, I came home to Kate standing in the kitchen crying. She had been doing that a lot lately, so I didn't worry about it too much. It wasn't that we were arguing, but she was having difficulties fighting her klepto urges and coming clean to me. When I saw her in the kitchen, that's what I assumed she had been crying about, but I was wrong.
“My life is over!” Kate sniffled through tears. “I never wanted this!”
“Kate, baby, what's wrong?” I was at her side, concerned. I reached to rub her back but Kate pulled away from me.
“I don't know why I ever...” She trailed off, sighing. Then, instantly, she became angry.
She snapped like a twig, out of nowhere.
“You did this! With all the romance and the I love you's and the stupid STUPID-” She balled her fists against the side of her head and yelled.
I backed away slowly. I had never known Kate to be hot headed. This seemed to come from nowhere.
“What is it?” I asked her softly.
Kate took a few deep breaths and then gestured to her gorgeous, curvy body covered with long sleeves and sweats.
“I'm pregnant, you idiot!”
And with that final outburst, the sink exploded.
It took me a minute to take it all in. The sink, the pregnancy, Kate's outburst. I just stared at her for a few minutes while tears poured down her cheeks and water pooled at our feet.
“Pregnant?” I asked.
“Yes!” Kate wailed, hiding her crying eyes behind her hands.
“I don't understand...” I tilted my head and reached out to Kate, who once again pulled away from me. “Do you not like children? Not want children?”
Kate took a few breaths and sniffled. “No, I mean- I don't want this. Any of it, I want to be out there enjoying myself. I feel like a fat, miserable house frau.”
“You sound like you're saying you don't want to be married anymore.” I hated saying it because I didn't want it to be true.
“Murphy.” Kate sighed. “Sweet, dear Murphy. I'm so sorry. I'm just really unprepared for this. I wanted to enjoy my young adulthood. To have a better home for any children I might have had.”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but didn't.
I wanted to fix this, to make her better, but the gut feeling I had since early in our engagement and throughout our marriage only got stronger. No matter what Kate said or how much she apologized and said she liked it, nothing could hide that look of disappointment in her eyes at that moment.
She didn't want this- a baby. Maybe this poor, run-down house. Maybe me. She loved me, I knew, but she was giving up so much for me.
And Me? I barely knew her. I didn't know she was a klepto- is that genetic? I didn't know she was unemployed or the things she liked to do. I feel in love with her too fast and let the important things slide.
I think I was finally realizing this wasn't working out, and though it scared me so much I knew what I had to do: I wanted to break up with Kate.
I couldn't do it right then, though. She was carrying my baby, and I didn't want to leave her alone with child. We could work out the custody later, if things didn't get better, but I wasn't going to abandon her right that second.
So I pretended that, for that moment, everything was okay, knowing in the back of my mind things might end very soon.
Hey baby, you in there?
I smiled and rubbed her tummy while the repairman fixed the sink. I rubbed her back when she complained it was aching.
I kissed her, pretending for a moment that things would get better.
Deep down, I knew that they wouldn't.
Kate must have decided things weren't working out either. As she got later into her pregnancy she became more distant. She wouldn't let me rub her back or kiss her. She barely spoke to me, and when she did she gave me this sad look like she wanted to be anywhere but there with me.
I got more nervous as Kate's due date approached. She wanted waffles constantly and huffed at me whenever I cooked them unevenly. She wanted to kick me for making her return the television, saying how badly she wanted to watch it.
I chalked it up to mood swings, but things were getting stressed. Kate was on maternity leave, so money was tight, and yet she still left home every night leaving me to sleep by myself.
Pregnancy won't stop sticky fingers.
Things were only getting worse, and I was losing any hope I had that things would patch up during this. I still wanted to end things, and I hated it.
Kate went through a nesting phase and we had to add on a nursery to the house.
Not exactly Baby Palace, is it?
It was when I questioned her one night where she got the money for the extra toys and better crib when things exploded.
Kate starting to yell about who she was and how hard it was to change, and the sacrifices we both had to make for our baby, when her face contorted and she let out the loudest scream I've ever heard.
I thought she was just angry, but then I realized she was having the baby.
I helped her dress and we made our way to the Hospital.
I have to admit, my heart was doing somersaults. My baby! My first born child coming into this world! I was so sorry Kate was in pain, but I couldn't have been happier.
It was in the afternoon that my son, Murphy Jr. was born.
I walked out of the hospital in tears.
He was such a beautiful baby, I fell in love with him immediately.
He has his mother's eyes.
Kate, however, seemed less than thrilled.
It was time to realize that we just weren't meant to be. I didn't want my son growing up in a broken home. Things hadn't changed for me, and it was time I ended it before they got any worse.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I found out what Kate was doing the next morning. I awoke well rested to find that my darling wife hadn't been in bed with me all along. I frowned, reaching out to stroke the spot next to me. I had hoped that us living together would give us more alone time, but we both were very busy. I didn't know a lot about Kate's job, she had just gotten it after all, but I wondered if she would be working nights.
I rubbed Kate's empty spot for a moment longer before getting up and starting my daily duties. I should have noticed as soon as I walked into the kitchen that something was different, but I had gotten a full night's rest and sleeping that long made me a bit bleary eyed.
Morning as usual. Nothing different, right? Wrong. So very wrong.
So there I was, just going about my day. I fixed myself some delicious waffles and cleaned the counters a bit. It was only after an hour or so of busing myself that I finally saw it. The television set.
We were poor. Yes, we both had jobs. Yes, I was rapidly climbing the career ladder. Yes, the Military paid Kate well.
But yes- our toliet was in our kitchen. Where we eat. If we had money to splurge on anything at all, I would have taken the more sanitary route and purchased an area to use the facilities.
There was no way we could afford a television, especially that expensive. Even with our savings, what little there was of it, there was no possible way. Yet there it was, staring back at me.
Where did it come from?
I couldn't imagine Kate hiding some vast fortune from me, but I'm sure it didn't just get up and walk itself into our home. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Nope, still there.
I quickly turned and did a quick survey of the home. We were not only suddenly in possession of a television I've never seen before, but also a lamp and some wall sconces. How-?
Kate. It had to be. She had to have the missing piece of the puzzle that I didn't have. Unfortunately, Kate was nowhere to be found.
I looked. Believe you me, I looked everywhere for that woman. I looked outside, I looked inside. Nothing. I glanced into the yard of both of my neighbors, and still nothing- though I did find out the Altos had moved out.
I took a walk to the park across from our house and looked for a bit there. While I did find a plant to harvest, I didn't find Kate.
Kate still didn't show up after I made a small garden for my plants and had lunch. The hours were ticking by.
I decided to check in town. I took a cab instead of running the whole way. I figured I would need my energy to find my M.I.A wife.
Once again, I checked everywhere- or, as much ground as I could cover before I was running out of time. Dejected, I decided to stop by the bookstore and replace the cookbook I had lost ages ago. I also bought two more. They were less skill oriented and more aimed at preparing specific dishes. It was still useful information, and even though we had very little funds I was happy to hand some over to get the new books.
Money for knowledge. Not a bad deal at all.
It was coming out of the bookstore that I finally found what I had been looking for all along. It wasn't a what, though, it was a who. Kate.
And what she was doing made me stop in my tracks and nearly drop my new purchases.
Who the hell is he?
I didn't panic. I wanted to panic, but I didn't. I took a few deep breaths, and walked away. I told myself I would talk to her later, and to let her be.
It was hard to stop myself from jumping from conclusions, but the whole thing could be harmless. She went down to the public pool for a swim and spotted a friend. What I had witnessed was just a harmless conversation between two people catching up. Maybe she was talking about me.
How much she loved me and couldn't wait to get home to me. Maybe it was nothing at all.
With that mind set, I left the center of town. I went to work- throwing myself into my cooking and making dishes taste in ways I never thought possible. I schmoozed my boss, talking over my worrying thoughts. I met new coworkers and took it easy.
Before I went home, I sat on a bench and got through both my books. I read them cover to cover, even though each sentence looked like “Kate was with another man.” I forced myself to absorb the words for what they really were and not what I imagined them to be.
Then- I went home. I was dreading it all day, going home and having to talk to Kate. The last thing I wanted was confrontation. We hadn't even been married that long and issues were already coming up.
I hated just thinking about it, but I knew I couldn't put it off forever.
I stepped in the door and saw Kate sitting at our dinning table, watching tv. Suddenly my mind forgot about what's-his-name and focused on the earlier issue. The television, and how it had poofed into our home.
“Kate...” I began slowly, wanting to choose my words carefully. “Where did this come from?”
I finished my question by gesturing at the t.v. She was watching.
Kate looked away from me and frowned. “Murphy, last night I picked up some things for our new place...”
She sighed. “I stole them. I can bring them back, if you don't like them. I wanted us to have nice things.”
Her head tilted up towards me and I watched her lower lip quiver. "Sometimes I can't help it. It's an urge I can't fight! I'm sorry!"
The way she looked at me melted my heart. “It's okay.” I told her. “We can get through whatever problem you have together.”
I pulled her up and hugged her tight. We could manage.
After a few more hugs and kisses, the issues forgotten, we made our way to make our marriage official.
And we made it official over
Friday, January 14, 2011
Of course, I didn't have time to dwell on it. I was out the door and hunting down the boss of a restaurant so I could schmooze my way into a promotion at my job.
I spent twenty minutes talking to a woman who smelled of french fries. Really? Urgh.
Then it was back to work. I didn't make the right connection- I guessed, but I got my promotion anyway. You're looking at Sunset Valley's newest Taster. It's a pretty big step for someone who started out at the bottom rung of the ladder.
I worked hard until I was exhausted, eager to come home to my darling Kate.
Going home to my darling wife~
The sun was just setting when I made it in the door.
“Sweetheart, are you home?” I called out.
“Of course.” Kate's head peeked out at me and she smiled. “Where else would I be, silly?”
“Er- work. The maid job.” I suddenly felt very confused.
“I lost that job a long time ago, baby.” She tilted her head to the side. “I've been out of work.”
I took a minute to process her words. She didn't have a job? How long had she been out of work- and if she wasn't working, why had she been so busy when we were dating? The questions running through my mind didn't make me feel good. I hated thinking that I rushed into a marriage that might not work out. I really believed I loved her, and I had to trust her.
As I tried to shake the questions out of my mind, Kate must have sensed that I was feeling off.
“Don't worry, darling! I've applied for a position in the military. They make good money, there.” She gave me one of her warm smiles. “And since I'll be bringing in extra cash, I thought we could redo the house and make it into a real home! Doesn't that sound nice?”
It did. It sounded wonderful. Maybe things were changing after all.
True to her word, Kate got a position in the Military.
Man, did she ever look good in that Uniform. Rawr.
And her signing bonus was enough to make some changes to the house. Much needed-changes, I might add.
Like a door and roof.
A proper kitchen
A lovely little bedroom
And a bathroom.
Alright, alright, it was in the kitchen, but it sure beat showering outside.
We had lots of fun decorating the house and moving things around. I was still pretty exhausted from my work, though, and knew I had more ahead of me the next day.
I wiggled my eyes suggestively at Kate. “Care to join me in our new bed, Mrs. Murphey?”
She giggled, cupping her mouth and batting her eyelashes. “Of course, sweetheart! Let me grab a quick meal and I'll be right in!”
As a chef and virtuoso, I have to say that I loved listening to my wife in the Kitchen. The way she hummed to herself as she searched for her midnight snack. The soft 'ah' she made as she found what I assumed to be jam. The melodic slice of the bread. The gentle crunches she took and each soft breath she made after that.
It was it's own symphony, and it was enough to put me right to sleep.
(I was exhausted, after all!)
I always thought that, when you're married, you'll instinctively sense the other person next to you- if they are. I don't know, it's a funny sort of thing. I thought, even sleeping, that I would know the minute Kate snuggled up next to me. I would feel complete.
I didn't, though. It's foolish to think about, really. I was asleep, what would I know if she was there next to me or not? It does sound silly when you think about it, sensing someone in your sleep.
I guess it was just one of those things that I had expected to come with marriage. Something that I thought would change, but didn't.
Still, I was so sure I would be able to feel her laying beside me. In my sleep, a part of me wondered what was keeping her.