Friday, January 28, 2011

Gen1: Chapter Seven: Mending a Broken Home

Despite everything thus far, Kate was a wonderful mother. I know that Murphy Jr. wasn't in her plans for the future, and she still never really looked happy, but there was no denying she loved that baby.

She didn't show it often, though. Especially when I was around, she just sighed sadly and put on one of those pretend smiles that are so obviously fake. But then sometimes, when she was alone with the little guy, she would get this look on her face that was so special it was hard to describe.

Love. That describes it.

She loved us both, I knew, but I think things had reached that point. I think Kate had decided she wanted no more of this, and I was set on having no more of the stress. After all, we had a baby now and growing up in a strained environment wouldn't be good for Jr. It would be better to have one parent who was happy and loving then two who were distant and fake.

I didn't know when to spring it on her. I wanted to end it, but it was hard to find the perfect time. I mean, I couldn't exactly walk up and tell her we were through after we just had the baby. I especially didn't want to do it while Murphy Jr. was up, in case things turned ugly.

It was hard to find a time when that kid wasn't awake, though. He was adorable, but I was not used to waking up at odd hours of the night because he wanted to snuggle.

Daddy and Mommy's Little alarm clock.

Kate was good at waking up. I thought she'd complain, being in the military was hard work and lack of sleep certainly wouldn't improve her job performance once she went back, but she never really complained about it, even if I knew she didn't like it.

Hush baby, Momma's here.

I worked while Kate was on maternity leave, but I still spent some time with Murphy too. Whenever I was home, the first thing I did was go and see my little tyke.

Hey buddy, you miss me?

I loved seeing little Murph's face light up, and every time I held him it felt like the world slowed down a little bit. I knew, despite putting it off, that breaking up with Kate would be the right choice. She was a sweet girl underneath it all, and stayed with me despite our troubles. I needed to make better choices for my son, though. I had rushed into a marriage too soon, and though things felt okay they were still awkward. I had to put my child first.

Even knowing this, I was still putting it off because I hated the thought of doing it. Of course, as they often do, things didn't get much better as time went on. Kate started smiling less around our child, giving him the same sad looks she gave me.

It was hard to do it, though. So hard. It's hard to think about it, losing the woman I fell in love with. I couldn't put it off any longer, though.

Knowing I was making the right choice for my son, I resolved to end it with Kate one day after work. It had to be done.

When I got home, Kate was fixing the sink while Murphy Jr. was cooing softly from his crib. Hearing his soft little noises gave me the strength to do what I knew needed doing.

I took a deep breath and approached Kate.

“Honey.” I reached out to touch her arm but she pulled away. I sighed again. “We need to talk.”

Kate took her hands away from the sink and faced me.

“Yes.” She said. “We do.”

“I don't know how to say this easily.” I began, staring more at the floor then I was my wife. “But things aren't working out.”

I heard Kate start to sniffle, but I didn't look up to see her cry. Her voice, holding back tears, whispered “I know.”

Now she reached out, laying her hand on my shoulder. “Murphy, I am so sorry for doing this to you.”

This shocked me, because she wasn't really doing anything, aside from a lack of enthusiasm. Sure, she had some problems, but she hadn't done anything she wasn't trying to fix. She just wasn't happy, and I wasn't happy.

I looked up at her, my emotions written all over my face.

This is what a broken heart looks like.

“Sorry? What are you talking about?” I asked.

It was Kate's turn to sigh and look at the floor. “We rushed into things too fast. I'm not a mean or evil Sim, Murphy. I didn't set out to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you- but this isn't me. This home, this child- the things I want from life are not this.”

I had expected to do all the talking, but she was saying all the things I was thinking.

I stayed silent and let her continue.

“You want to be a great chef, and I want-...” She trailed off, tears coming hard now. “Murphy, my life's greatest wish is to be a Heart Breaker. Not because I'm mean, but I love the attention I get when I get all dolled up. I love hanging out with my friends and all the compliments I get. You were different. I'm not saying that to spare your feelings. I really wanted this to work, and I really did love you, but in the end some things never change.”

“You can say that again.” I mumbled.

“I am who I am, Murphy, and I want you to have a wonderful life. That doesn't include me, at least not now.”

“What about Murphy Jr.?” I asked, already knowing she wouldn't want custody of him.

“He's my son, Murphy. I never saw him in my future, but I can't imagine my future without him. I know he'd be better off with you. I just hope that you'll still let me visit. Even if I have to be Auntie Kate.”

I nodded and smiled a little. “I think he would like that.”

Kate apologized again and wiped her hands against her eyes. After she was done, she smiled. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I wish I hadn't had to do this to you, but things will be better this way.”

I nodded again. “I hope so.”

She gave me a hug, the first hug I had in a long time. Then she left to say goodbye to Murphy and pack her things.

I watched her leave.

Knowing that this was for the best.